Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize