found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
