six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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