he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
