I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
