I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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