end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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