I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
