I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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