Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
