look no pants
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You dont lie about slip and slides
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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