scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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