The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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