I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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