the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Bring me that man meat
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
