I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
