Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
