i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
