Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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