i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I didn't notice because vodka
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize