He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
