You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
