1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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