Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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