Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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