Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
