i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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