he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
