its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
