Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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