It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
