You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize