I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
