so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize