so explain again why im purple
no
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
