During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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