I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize