dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
