Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
