cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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