You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
