Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
