More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
NoShamevember. You game?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
