So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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