"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
