it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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