Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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