The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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