Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
