great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
