Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
birth control should be required to get into college
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
