I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize