1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He kissed a someone with a penis
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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