How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
