I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
