We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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