Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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