in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
