I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
